Outgrowing the Leadership Voice That Got You Here

How often do you truly recognize yourself in the way that you lead?

When you’re leading your team, how often does it feel like it’s coming from a place of your own authenticity? Or perhaps it feels like the voice of someone else—something familiar, something effective most of the time, but not quite your own?

If you’re a seasoned leader, you may already be thinking that this article is not for you. You may assume that because you are experienced in leading, clearly you must already be leading from your own voice and place of authenticity. But is that really true?

One of the defining characteristics of effective leadership is that it is always evolving. Teams change. Organizations change. The broader business ecosystem is dynamic by nature. And because of that, the way leaders need to show up continually changes as well. This is what can make leadership feel so challenging.

One of the best ways to meet those challenges is to stay in an ongoing search for the true voice of your leadership.

My current journey

I’m experiencing this a lot in my own work right now.

I’ve been running my business for five years now, and last year was one of the toughest years I’ve had so far. It brought up a lot of questions and, frankly, made a mess of my confidence. I found myself questioning whether I was in the right role at all, and whether I truly had the capacity to successfully run a business that supports my family.

Now that things have shifted a bit, I’ve had some time to reflect. What I can see more clearly is that what was happening was a natural evolution of my own leadership. I needed to move away from what had worked before and toward finding greater clarity in my leadership voice.

Questions started to surface:

• What do I actually stand for in my work?

• What is my clear offer to the clients I serve?

• How do I communicate this most effectively?

At their core, these are questions about leadership voice.

Recognize, utilize, create

I recently heard an interview with Tony Robbins. Whatever you think of him, he is a master of storytelling and of creating frameworks that are easy to understand and remember. One framework he shared stayed with me.

He suggested that one of the things that makes humans uniquely capable of progress is our ability to do three things well:

1. Recognize patterns

2. Utilize patterns

3. Create patterns

This framework applies remarkably well to finding and evolving our leadership voice.

Recognizing patterns

When we take on leadership—whether for the first time or in a new phase of an already demanding role—the first thing we need to do is recognize what is actually happening.

A common trap is trying to meet new circumstances with old leadership behaviors simply because they were effective in the past. Inevitably, this stops working. Ideally, we have leaders around us whose patterns of leadership we can observe—patterns that appear more effective or better suited to the current environment than our own.

This phase of recognition is essential. Without it, there is nothing to learn from.

Utilizing patterns

Next, we begin to utilize the patterns we’ve recognized.

We try them on. We borrow language, behaviors, decision-making approaches, or ways of holding responsibility. For many leaders, this is where they stay. The patterns mostly work. They are rewarded. They help us move forward.

But this is also where leaders can get stuck.

We may continue utilizing patterns not because they truly move us, but because we think we should. Because they look like leadership. Because they are effective enough. The reality is that creating our own patterns can be intimidating. What if they don’t work? What if we’re wrong? And how do you even find the time to create when you’re focused on simply keeping things running?

Creating patterns

This is where the distinction between good leadership and great leadership begins to emerge.

Great leaders understand that the evolution of their leadership voice is not a nice-to-have. They understand that it requires investment—of time, energy, money, and attention.

For most leaders, this means intentionally stepping away. Time away from the hustle and bustle of daily life. Time alone. Quiet. Space to listen.

Physically stepping away—from the business, from constant demands, and sometimes even from family and personal commitments—can be one of the most effective ways to hear the leadership voice required for the next chapter.

Why this is harder than it sounds

I’ll share this with full transparency: this is not easy for me either.

I have a reminder in my task system to set a quarterly offsite for myself. It’s something I often resist for weeks, sometimes even months, before actually scheduling it.

There are two key factors at play.

The first is the powerful pull of doing. Busyness is rewarded. Productivity is visible. We want to be seen as effective, and we want our work to be evaluated based on output. Reflection rarely fits neatly into that equation.

The second is that this work is deeply personal. Taking time away to listen for your leadership voice may reveal things that are not easy to see or be with. It may ask you to let go of ways of leading that once served you well.

This is also why I don’t believe this is work that can reliably be done alone. It’s impossible to step outside of our own context without support, and therefore nearly impossible to discover a genuinely new leadership voice without some form of partnership.

This is why coaching exists—and why it continues to grow as one of the most effective forms of leadership development.

A two-part invitation in finding your leadership voice

Part one: a short reflection

If this resonates, here’s a simple writing exercise you can do on your own.

Set aside 20–30 minutes somewhere quiet. No phone. No interruptions.

Think back over the past three to six months and identify three to five leadership situations that stand out—moments where how you showed up mattered.

For each situation, reflect on the following:

• What patterns do I recognize in my leadership?

  How did you tend to respond? What behaviors, language, or decision-making approaches showed up repeatedly?

• Which patterns am I utilizing that aren’t working or don’t feel like my own?

  Where did your leadership feel forced, borrowed, or misaligned—even if it appeared effective on the surface?

• What might change if I created something new?

  If you were to lead from a place more aligned with your values—leading from your heart as much as your head—what could shift in your effectiveness or in the experience of your team?

Don’t rush to answers. Patterns tend to reveal themselves when you give them space.

Part two: an invitation to go deeper

For some leaders, this level of reflection is enough to open a meaningful next chapter. For others, it reveals something they don’t want to ignore.

I work with a small number of senior leaders each year through in-depth individual leadership coaching retreats, designed to kick off a longer coaching engagement. These retreats create the time, space, and focused support required to move from recognizing and utilizing patterns to truly creating your own.

I’m currently one of the only practitioners in Asia offering this depth of individual retreat-based leadership work. It’s not for everyone. It’s for the 1% of leaders who are bold enough to make this level of commitment to their growth.

If you recognize yourself here, trust that, and let’s explore what deeper support could look like.

• Book a Spark Session

• Explore the Individual Retreat Details

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